“Sometimes I feel like standing in the middle of a fast moving crowd, putting my hands on my ears, just to make all that noises, all the judgements, the loudness around me go away. It’s like I can’t move with the rhythm of the world anymore.” - Terry
(Source: dan-saker, via genius-today)
So this is a new message after a while.
I wasn’t in the mood to post something, well… there I go.
You may know that I write stories (genre: fantasy, young adult-books) and now I started a new blog on tumblr. Maybe you guys will from me then.
Cya
I want to get up in the morning, work, smile, live life at its fullest and just be the one girl. That one girl for that one guy.
I want to make people smile, think about their actions and maybe, just maybe walking together for a little while.
I want to feel myself. I want to lose myself while listening to music and at the same time, I want to find myself while laying on the floor and listening to the soundtrack of my life.
I want to draw a tiny heart on his cheek, kissing him good night and feel the warmth when he’s next to me.
So many things… I want them to come true.
_________
<3
She made me happy. At times we could talk about so many things, reflected ourselves and thought about what’s next, how we act. We had moments of silence. We had funny moments. Serious ones, too.
Then she started doing drugs. That one night changed my view. That night has shown me something I never wanted to get in touch with. And now, I’m just sitting here and thinking about that action of me.
Did I do the right thing? Leaving her behind?
Seriously, I’m confused. And I think that she’s still a friend, somehow. But she changed. I noticed that I can’t count on her anymore. She has new friends - the drugs.
lies. lie. liar. lied.
this mobile version is bullshit. lol.
First of all - A toast to the guys who made it through the year with me. Thank you.
Looking back at this year makes me questioning a lot.
It was hard to stand that thought, that I was sitting right next to my grandma, who I got to know one day before, and watching her dying. After that I thought, there was a reason. Call it fate, carma, whatever. I started seeing my dad again. Until September. Called me drunk on the phone. And it ended up with..- even the thought makes me feel like shit.
Friends I lost, friends I had to let go, friends who lied. Everything I been through was disgusting and awful. Made it through the college on my own. At that point I was a fighter. I found a job. Now I lost it, ‘cause the hotel is closed forever.
Found someone. Now I’m not sure anymore. I’m questioning myself. Why am I so sober? Why can’t I feel that fucking bees? There are feelings but since all of that shit I had to stand… It just feels like I’m numb.
Yet, I’m on my own in this fucking town. Friends moved away or are about to do that. And I have to stay here, until mum has a job or something else. FUCK OFF 2011!
somehow I knew it from the start. It was just another lie. And to be honest: I really don’t care about that anymore. I’m just disappointed. fuck optimism. and duck all that liars. go to bell.
Doing experiments with my new cell. I just wanted ti find out, how all this stuff works. Must admit - writing with a smartphone is funny :D so have a nice evening :)
